Spirit Babies, Ghost Tours, and Lowering My Defenses

For those of you who don't know this part of my story: one of the defining threads of my journey involves my friend John Larimer, who was killed in the Aurora Theater shooting in Colorado. I've since learned that we shared many past lives together. In this lifetime we weren't super close, but I knew him well and spent a lot of time camping with his family. Now, whenever I see the Batman symbol, I know I'm on the right path and being supported spiritually. He's become one of my main guides and healing advisors from the other side.

I've recently been getting messages and nudges to do more work in the world of fertility — specifically, helping spirit babies incarnate as humans on the planet. Six years ago, I worked with a woman on her fertility journey, and she quickly became pregnant. She referred me to a friend who also quickly became pregnant. A couple of years later, a third client became pregnant after working with me and has since had a second miracle baby. I just found out that the second woman also recently had another miracle baby — so we're at five miracle babies for three women. Wow!

Two more clients have just come to me with fertility challenges that need support, which is another sign that I'm on the right path.

Over the years, I've also worked with many women carrying grief from the loss of a child, the secret weight of an abortion, giving a child up for adoption, or navigating miscarriages on their path to parenthood. This work is sacred, complex, and I keep getting called deeper into it.

A few weeks ago, I enrolled in a course with my friend Julia Albain called Spirit Babies. It's designed for people who want to get pregnant, and for practitioners who want to support that process — specifically around helping spirit babies incarnate. The moment I read the description, I knew I needed to take it. No question.

Now that I'm in the class, something interesting is happening during the meditations. I wouldn't exactly call it resistance, but it's not a clean, open channel either.

Here's what's going on: when we drop into meditation, I knock out. I go into a deep hypnotic state — body almost in sleep mode, barely functional. I'll catch a few words as Julia brings people in and out of trance, but mostly I'm just receiving energy, a lot of it pumping through my body. This is typical for me during energy work. I go into full receiver mode and shut down everything else to absorb whatever's being transmitted.

The challenge is that this class is asking me to stay conscious — to communicate directly with the spirit babies and help them navigate into incarnation. Deep receiver mode doesn't support that.

As I've sat with this, what's become clear is that my hypnotic shutdown isn't just about the energy work. It's tied to something deeper: my history with entities, night terrors, and floating shadows that look like Harry Potter's Dementors hovering over my bed. Those experiences were terrifying, and I built very strong energetic defenses in response — walls that keep out everything, good or bad.

What I'm being shown now is that those defenses create a fog around the information I receive. They're protecting me, but they're also limiting me — specifically limiting my ability to do the healing, miracle-instigation work I'm so clearly called to do.

And here's the honest part: I've been hiding behind those limitations. I've used claircognizance and kinesiology to justify and validate my connection to the spirit world, partly because I don't want to identify as someone who is clairvoyant or talks to dead people. It doesn't feel safe or sane to me — even though I think it's extraordinary when other people do it. I just haven't wanted it to be my reality.

Last night, while my daughter was at prom, I had three hours to spend in Chicago. When I Googled "What I should do tonight?", the first answer that came was: go on a ghost tour.

I'd never been on one. Given the spirit baby work I'm doing and my attempts to understand my own fears around it, it felt like the right experiment.

I did not enjoy the ghost tour part. I loved the boat ride — Chicago at night is genuinely stunning — but ninety minutes of stories about murder victims, mob connections, and tortured spirits haunting various locations held zero appeal for me. Which turned out to be useful information.

Coming home this morning, I started trying to discern the difference between spirits that haunt as ghosts and spirit babies that benevolently want to be born.

The distinction landed clearly: I have no desire to work with haunting, traumatized spirits stuck in a loop here on the planet. I do want to work with the benevolent spirits promoting healing and health in my clients. Those are completely different things, and I'd been lumping them together in my fear.

In making that distinction, something else clicked: I can reach out to John — in spirit form — and ask him to help me work through this from the other side. To guide me through a process that feels safe, clear, and protected.

This wasn't even my idea. While I was at the prom party, a little girl was holding a Batman figurine. As we left, I spotted the Batman signal twice more — a T-shirt, another product. Three sightings in a short window. That's John's signal. He was already showing up.

So I did something I don't normally share publicly: I wrote him a note and let him write back.

Here is that exchange, exactly as it came through.

May 17th, 2026

Dear John Larimer in spirit form,

What do I need to learn and know and release?

Love,

Amanda

Dear Amanda,

As I just started to explain before you started writing this letter... I am an example and a blend. I am a soul/spirit who was killed tragically, who comes to visit you similarly to your other relatives, but in a safe way that is for your highest and best good. You've seen my signs and signals: the girl with the Batman figurine at the party and the two other bat symbols last night. You got the message that I'm here to help guide you.

No, you don't need to dabble in the dark arts and freaky shit, and yes, you have done a great job of letting in very little, but just enough to do your work. You do hide behind your claircognizance in order to justify your work and not feel like you talk to dead people. You aren't really even talking to dead people. You are talking to the souls and spirits.

See that insight?

Your question: What's the difference, John, between a soul and a spirit?

The soul is the purest form of the being. Body, mind, soul. We reincarnate and have many lifetimes. This is what you've been comfortable working with. It's safe, pure, understood. Enough for you to justify it and feel legitimate in this world.

This is similar to how you already work with and tap into the Akashic Records, but only as needed and without all the labels. Up to this point, fuzzy info has been enough for you to work with. We need you to have even more, and you want even more. It will help people more, and in order to get it to you, we need you to lower your defenses that are blocking the scary parts while knowing that we have you fully defended.

I hear you. You don't want more night terrors or orb visits. That's not allowed. No dementors floating over your bed. That's not what this is. Let's get to the spirit part. Take a deep breath and breathe.

"Spirits" has a few meanings:

• Alcoholic spirits

• Spirit as a ghost haunting a place stuck in time

• Spirit babies, they are souls who want to incarnate

It's really that simple.

Sure, they can be pushy and aggressive and impatient, rude even by human standards, but they are not malicious or mean-spirited. See what I did there? They are impatient AF, just like you, and remember, you were one of them before you were born.

We could call them soul babies or baby souls, but that has a different meaning. Spirit babies are queued up to incarnate. "Soul babies" would be "baby souls" who have not incarnated very many times, so they are newer to the process versus "old souls" or "wise souls". Spirits and souls are very similar, but the spirit babies in the queue can be "old" or "baby" souls and all the varieties in between.

Just like working with your angels, helpers, and guides, the archangels and ancestors, you found a way to let them in without things getting to be too much. You've put a limiter on your power in order to protect yourself from the experiences like you had with that entity. Fair enough, and for good reason. Yes, you have stories and instances of good spirits visiting and not-so-friendly spirits. Remember when Lee (my grandfather) was in your first apartment, helping keep you safe and feeling less alone? Yes, more of that.

We, the Good Soul team of spirited, friendly souls supporting your healing abilities, would like permission to board, but not you, your healing vessel, lol. We want your permission to work with you more clearly and directly, without the fog of dampeners that limit our access or your capacity. You've been doing this work long enough, and you know enough. Will you let us board your magical miracle instigating vessel to provide the "unfair advantage" of your work and accelerate the soul-level healing for the humans called to work with you?

If so, sign below and let us know it's okay. I've got you well protected on this side. I know what you can handle, and you already trust me. It might be weird or freaky at times, but so, so magical. I'll make sure of it, and if it's too much (which it won't be), I'll monitor it on my end. Then you write to me or call on me, and we'll adjust. You won't need to, but that's in the contract fine print, just in case it helps the parts of you who remain a bit skeptical to be at ease, okay?

Love always,

John

I, Amanda Young, do hereby allow and offer permission to John and his approved spirit guides to have additional access, as he sees fit, to open the bridge and path for the spirit babies to work with me to raise a protective fog. To do so in a way that supports my human fully.

Signed and dated May 17th, 2026

Let the spirit baby connection begin!